09 August 2013

marriage: what I think about the deal

Jay asked me the other day,
"Have I gotten more or less weird since we got married?"

I thought about it for a second.

Um. more fun?
Maybe it's more weird in someone else's opinion,
but I love it.
We sing and dance and laugh our heads off.

As fun as marriage is,
those of you who are married may know what I mean when I say it's also a learning experience.
I feel like I've learned an exponential amount since being married.

One being this:
Jay was a bit of a tough cookie to open up.
When we were dating, he would often just be quiet.
Good heavens, we all know that's not exactly my cup of tea.
If I'm quiet for a length of time I'm either ticked, or thinking, or moody and not wanting to open my mouth.

So everytime Jay was quiet I analyzed and overanalyzed what was wrong.
"Are you ok?....Are you sure?"
After quite a few months I learned that silence isn't negative-
Whaaaaat..? Well fancy that!  
He doesn't think like me.

So naturally, I moved on to asking what he was thinking about.....
Let's skip over that and assume that I learned the exact same lesson.
Shockingly boys minds aren't always going 200 mph,
and they aren't always doing 3 things at once.
[aka driving, listening to music, and thinking about life]

Oh my, there are a million other things I've learned.
Like, "oh wait, everything isn't about me?!"
That pretty much sums up all of them.

You know, I didn't think my life was all about me when I was single, but I was wrong.
Even if I was doing things for other people,
it was my choice
and my timing.
And I thought the way I thought,
and if someone thought differently it was ok.
After all, I wasn't going to be with them forever.
I've learned that it's less about having the same opinion,
and more about learning respect and real understanding for that opinion.

It's a fascinating thing, marriage.
I was told many a time to beware of marriage,
because dating is the best it's ever going to be.
I will contest that until the end of time.
For me it keeps getting better.
But that is a whole different story.

Just know that marriage is happy. 
Really, really, happy.

And I'll be happy to keep learning with this boy forever.


  1. Love this. I miss you dearly! Also, you are the cutest!

  2. How did I miss all these posts? I love them. And I am sad that you were preparing for marriage to be a let-down, but glad that you get to prove that idea wrong! And I'm glad you guys are so happy. ANNNDD... I'm glad you cracked Jaba open. :)


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