It's ok to like your kid

I love my kid, it's not a secret. She's awesome and fun and funny and smart and dang cute. She's also two... so sometimes she's a tantrum-thrower and screamer and very bossy little thing. 

I, however, like to focus on the former rather than the latter. 

Not because I think my kid is perfect... but because if you're going to focus on one, it may as well be that one. I feel like I have to make the caveat that what I'm referring to here is not ignoring your child's issues or forgoing discipline because you have on rose-colored lenses. I'm just saying that just like grown-ups, all kids have good and bad and I think we have the choice of which we focus on. 

I can't begin to count the number of times I've given a parent a compliment about their child, and they either shrug it off or tell me something that child has been doing wrong lately to downplay my compliment (i.e. "yeah, well if you saw them at home you wouldn't be saying that") and while I understand the urge to do so,  I wish we wouldn't. There are times I have to make a conscious effort to accept compliments rather than downplay them because it can feel uncomfortable, or maybe I'm not sure what to say, or I want them to realize that my life isn't all roses with this imperfect child! haha. But this is my pleading for us all to accept compliments directed toward our children. And I beg you, please accept compliments toward them if they are standing next to you. If you have nothing else to say, a simple "thanks" will do, if not a "thanks, I agree!".  I think half of us are so used to rejecting compliments about ourselves that we have no idea how to accept them for our children, but it's never done any good for anyone to reject a compliment, has it?

I had this leader in college that taught me about the pygmalion effect. 

It basically is a theory of self-fulfilling prophecy whereby people perform to your expectations of them. They internalize your view of them and become more of whatever that is.

It really makes sense if you think about it. We are human beings, and we internalize what we hear said about us-children even more so. If we hear kind, uplifting things said to us often, how will that affect us? And vis versa? I can tell you that I've seen both play out a million times over and the pygmalion effect has proved true in observation. 

I'm not saying it is some sort of cookie cutter pattern that affects everyone and every child the same. I  just feel this duty as a parent to be a source of kindness and good in my child's life while she lives in a world that doesn't exactly sprinkle those things like pixie dust. I want to be her disciplinarian and her parent, but I also want to be her champion and anybody who wants to champion her with me will be welcomed with open arms. So let's strive to be our kids champions, and next time somebody tells you how perfect they are say with enthusiasm, "thanks so much, I really like him/her too!"

Rory- 16 month(ish)

-Rory says over thirty words on a regular basis (including neigh, egg, out, hi, no, bye, Jay, etc), and there is constant baby chatter in our house. 

-She is in constant motion, and always wants to be "side" playing in the dirt and smelling the flowers.

-Loves the neighborhood kids and yells "hi! hi! hi!" at them if she hears them come to the door then proceeds to spend as long as she possibly can playing with them outside (they are all between 5-10 years old). When I come outside to check on her she is literally beaming and always cries for a minute when she realizes I'm there to take her away.

-Sleeps a solid 12 hours at night but hardly ever longer, and naps once a day for 1.5-2 hours.

-Is absolutely obsessed with Boo and wakes up every morning calling her name. 

-Goes up and down the stairs like a little daredevil/champion.

-Loves the massive bear Uncle Zane bought her at Costco and if it's too quiet most of the time it means she is sitting in it's lap reading her books. 

-Is obsessed with the word "neigh" and throws it around like it's nothing. We will be in the middle of the store and she will yell out "neigh!". There's almost never a horse around.  

-Has the BEST gap teeth, and if you're lucky she will show them to you on command with an eyes-closed cheeser.

-Asks me to put socks and shoes on her first thing every single morning, and is peeved if she wore footies to bed and can't until after breakfast. Most often, she requests her boots (seen below). She also wants to wear hats and jackets almost always.

-Makes friends with anyone and everyone, though typically after getting their attention by shouting "hi!" on repeat, she refuses to speak and just smirks at them. 

-Rory really is a generally happy, obedient child. She has her extremely high volume opinionated moments, but other than those she helps me put things away, clean up, and keeps me laughing all day long. Grateful for a lot of things, but a really big one is that Jay works so hard so I can be home with her and be her person. 

What teenagers need to know: from the mouth of babes.

Since I've been home, I've been thinking a lot about high school.
I've seen people from high school, and listened as my high school sister tells me about her life...
I guess being back in your home town can do that to you.

Anyways, high school is hard.
Heck, I had relatively small problems and was active in leadership and usually had friends
And even then, none of that seemed to make it any easier. It was hard.
There were things I should have done that I didn't have the confidence to do.
I look back and remember most days being so worried sitting in my desk
about whether or not anybody was looking at my thighs squishing over the sides.
So worried that I couldn't focus.
And flirt with boys? Dance by myself? Make new friends? Take risks?
My narrow focus on my insecurities and whether or not I had friends, or if people liked me...
well, took me so far away from myself that I couldn't even think of those things most times.

High school can tell you that you have to be skinny or have a car or a place on a team
or a great group of friends and a perfect home life and everything else to be happy.
That is a lie.
It's a bold lie that our adversary loves to use over and over and over,
and it's been working for years.

I taught high school seminary last year, and I learned a lot.
I thought a lot about what I wish I had known.
But I was surprised to find that they already know what they need!
Of course, it's easier to say than it is to do, but that's where our job comes in.
If our focus is in the right place, we can help them learn how to do this.
So let me share with you what they know they need to be happy.
I asked them myself, and these were their responses.

D&C 121:7-8 Trials don't last! Even when it seems like the world is ending or like nothing will ever be okay again- through Christ and the Gospel it WILL BE OKAY! God is with us! We can endure to the end.

Temptations can come when you are not ready for them so prepare early and never think "that will not happen to me"

What you do now will make your future. So be your best self.

Go and do what the Lord commands-Rapidly! (1 Nephi 3:7)

Without faith you can do nothing... (D&C 8:10)

Don't take off your spiritual armor

Be nice to one another. Love one another.

Keep the commandments (1 Nephi 3:7)

(We are free to choose) This is our life and we were sent here to be tested. We choose our own happiness. We choose to choose the gospel. [choose the right path]. (2 Nephi 2:27)

There are so many ways to mess up, and it takes great diligence in order to police yourself all the time (Mosiah 4:30). However, you will mess up, and when you do, you need to have the courage and humility to accept the Savior's atonement.

Repent, and come unto Christ.

I believe to be the most important thing I have learned for myself is to have faith. I think that having faith, you also need hope, as well as charity. I also believe that coming unto Christ is very important. It gives you power. You will be able to conquer any trial that you have. You will also be an example to others of how to do it and it will give them confidence and hope. You will bring happiness into other's lives. You will endure to the end! Satan will have no power over you. You will gain greater knowledge constantly. You will have a sense of clarity. In the bible it talks about Jesus healing a blind man. The blind man was looking for Jesus because he knew Jesus could heal him. People told him he wasn't worthy to see him, but he sought him out anyway. Jesus has him come unto Him and helped him see again. He was able to see everything clearly. As we come unto Jesus, He will help us to see.

Learn in thy youth to keep the commandments (Alma 37:35)

Remember all you need is to know & share the pure love of Christ in all you do and say. In all your thoughts and at all times.

Remember the choices you make today will affect your eternity (2 Nephi 2:28-29)

Pray always and not faint. Always have a prayer in your heart.

Just be happy. This is temporary. Make the best of life. (Rom 8:28)

3 Nephi 18:1-14 Ye must watch and pray always, lest ye be tempted by the devil and ye be led away captive by him.

Learn in thy youth to keep the commandments of God (Alma 37:35)

Jesus loves you. And he wants to bless you and have you live with him again. All you have to do is live a life worthy enough to receive and recognize All that he blesses you with.

Build your life on Christ's foundation (Helaman 5:12)

Pray to God always (3 Nephi 18:15, 20-21)

Your kids are smarter than you give them credit for. They may have young minds and bodies,
but their souls I've found to always be wise beyond their years.
And they are right, you know.
If they have eternal perspective and a relationship with their Heavenly Father they will have all of those things they know they need.
The closer I felt to my Heavenly Father, the better I felt then (and feel now) about myself.
What it comes down to is that the youth of our nation need the gospel of Christ.
They need to know their Savior, because if they have that knowledge they never have to feel alone.
And what if no high schooler felt alone?

Just a thought.

[Also, here's a link to an article I read the other day that I thought was both relevant and true.]

And for your viewing pleasure- high school taylor & friends.

I moved I moved!

We are moved in as of this last week, thank the heavens.

Jay’s mom and sisters [and all seven of my inherited little people] have been in town.

So our new little apartment has already seen it's share of 

kisses, cuddles, bedtime stories and  sticky fingers.

And now I'm in Boston with the best big sister that I could ever have asked for. 

Seriously though, look at this blog post and you will understand. 

She takes care of me.  

And we are gallavanting around and going to bed late,

and cuddling her sweet baby every waking moment of the day I'm sure.

[Contributors to the sticky finger affair going on at my apartment before I left- apartment lighting is the worst...]

Get ready for a good old fashioned fat-baby picture overload in the next couple days!