My perfect three year old

Rory at 3:

Says something along the lines of "thank you for making us dinner mom. it's delicious" most nights. 

Has more than one book memorized and about 5 million songs (including the greatest showman soundtrack, every Daniel Tiger song, and several hymns and Taylor Swift songs)

Can keep up with adults in conversation with ease. 

Tells papa often that she's brave enough to ride horses, but jury is still out on whether that's true. 

Is a little on the bossy side, which most often I can appreciate. Ain't nobody going to step on our girl.

Loves "spinny dresses" (meaning any dress) and has a tribe of stuffed animals that she mothers. 

Is more excited than anything to be a big sister and talks/sings to/kisses my stomach every single day.

Is still an introvert like her mom and dad, but is starting to love playing with friends more and more.

Finally has hair! And curls at that! We waited a long time for this moment and are loving it.

Has really hard three year old moments, but makes up for them with sincere apologies and songs.

Has started to argue with me like an adult. It can be maddening....and sometimes hilarious.

Can mostly be reasoned with, though she's so smart that it HAS to be thorough reasoning. 

Is pretty obedient to her ok-to-wake light and once it goes off comes to our bed to cuddle. It's one of our favorite times of day- just unstructured time to snuggle as a family. 

Jay has started working from home and at least twice per day she asks if she can go down and give him a hug and kiss if she goes very very quietly. If he's not on a call I always say yes because somehow she's always true to her word and goes silently then comes straight back. 

Loves pink and purple and balloons and crowns and purses. and tutus and all things little girl.

Thanks Heavenly Father for Jesus and mom and dad and Boo and the baby in every prayer. 

Calls her personal prayers before bed "little girl prayers" and always tells me I can say the family prayer then she will say the little girl prayer. I once commented on how well she slept the night before and she responded, "it's because I said a prayer that I would have good dreams", which she does pray for nightly.

Is still a clean little chunk and is on the verge of a panic attack anytime she spills on her clothes or has something sticky on her hands. 

Thinks it's fun to sleep in the baby's crib and sleeps there some nights since it's set up in her room. 

Had a birthday party where all of her people showed up, which included some of her nursery friends, 7 year olds and teenage kids, my college roommates, our neighbors, her great grandparents, and my visiting teacher. She has the ability to engage and make friends with most anybody.

Any time my dad or Jay said happy birthday to her (she shared a birthday weekend with Father's Day this year) she responded with "Happy Father's Day" and was happy as anything to share her day with them. We love her more than words can say and are so proud of the intelligent, thoughtful, clean, empathetic, independent, and loyal little person she's becoming more of each day. 

sweat the small stuff

We've had a million showings on our house and just generally a LOT to do after those were over the last couple months. And gosh, I'm tired.

But through all the cleaning and prepping and packing, as it does, my mind has been doing a lot of thinking and drawing parallels and coming to conclusions. Something that has come to the forefront of my mind the most is this concept of the small stuff vs. the big stuff.

We all put off the big things sometimes. I do, at minimum. The mopping floors, cleaning all the baseboards, the huge painting projects, etc. etc. But you know what I put off more often? The small stuff. The packing a couple more boxes in free moments here and there. The keeping up with the dishes before there's a whole sink full. There finishing a small project instead of starting a new one. The taking five minutes to meditate...to read...to shower.

Satan has this insane way of making us feel hopeless. The "I haven't done it in several days/months/years, so if I don't do it for one more day it will make no difference." "Or I'm so overwhelmed with everything I don't know where to start."

So instead of taking a small step and putting another couple drops in that bucket of things we have to do, we just... don't. We waste time, we lose ourselves in social media for an hour, we look through a meaningless catalogue sitting on the counter, we stare at the wall, we start another project instead of finishing one that needs attention. Even if we just do one, or two, or three small things to put a drop in our bucket of "small stuff" each day; at the end of each week we have a dozen or more extra drops and at the end of the year we have hundreds or thousands.

What I'm really saying here is that if I/you/we sweat the small stuff.. if I put one foot in front of the other... even if they are small steps, the big stuff really seems more manageable. If I read a chapter every day, the test on the concepts seems easier. If I keep the house tidy, the deep cleaning doesn't seem so mind-blowingly huge. When I check in and keep up with my friendships, it doesn't seem like such a daunting task to call or know what to do when something catastrophic happens to them (or me). When I feel a little distance or detect a small problem between Jay and I, if I have the small conversation then it keeps bigger harder conversations from being necessary. The list could go on (and leave in a comment what situation it makes you think of for you!)

I want to be the kind of person who sees what needs to be done, and does it. I feel better on days when I'm closer to being that kind of person. And can you imagine if we had a world full of people who didn't freeze when they got overwhelmed, but instead put a drop in the bucket?

And here's Rory sitting on and falling into my massive pile of laundry, that happens to be my small stuff that was ignored and turned into big stuff right now.

Potty Training: the good, the bad, and the yucky

Potty Training happened over here a few weeks ago. Now before you think I'm some overachiever, you must know I wasn't planning on it all happening this early. It started when she would follow me into the bathroom, then she watched the Daniel Tiger episode (season 2, episode 1 you're welcome) and I thought it would be good to start a conversation about it. You know, just to make sure she has a happy from of reference for the whole thing once it came.

Then, (guys, she is crazy verbal) she started saying things like "I wanna go potty on the big girl potty!" and walking into the bathroom and closing the door every time she went pee or poop, and telling me as she paused and got a blank stare on her face, "Mom, I'm peeing right now!". And that went on for two solid months. Because we were headed on a twelve hour roadtrip with just the two of us, and another week-long family vacation so I was dragging my feet and thinking it might go away. Then I wanted to get her in a big girl bed first, in case she was the kind of kid that could potty train through the night. Luckily (sort of) that wasn't in the cards for her because we never did get that bed done and installed before we started potty training.

Long story short, we started. I had two different friends who had really good luck with the three-day method for potty training, so that's what we decided to use. I loved it. It's a quick read--like, you can read it all in one night. It's common sense and involves positive reinforcement, understanding, and creating opportunities for learning. Also it requires potty training and attention to your child to be your job and #1 priority for a few days- which I thought was logical since it is basically a job. So Jay and I talked through it, read the book, talked about what I won't be doing, what I will need from him, etc. and we started.

Day 1: We had several accidents in the morning, but by night time she had told me and made it to the potty more than once. We watched a lot of Moana and drew a lot of pictures sitting on a towel outside the bathroom this day.

Day 2: This was our hardest day. She hadn't slept well for her nap during day 1 or nighttime (accidents both times) and was tired. She made it through the first half of the day without accidents, but woke up from her nap early super grumpy and proceeded to have several more accidents before the end of the day. She successfully pooped on the toilet before bed (I basically caught her in the act of pooping and set her on the potty for her to finish the job, but it worked) and got a present for that, so we ended the day on a high note.

Day 3: Day 3 was a dream! A stressful dream, because I was worried about her having an accident all day, but still a dream! She went all day without an accident and I felt like she had finally caught on.

Post-three day method & issues we encountered:
The day after we finished the "method" training we went to Costco and she successfully went on a public toilet, which I was worried about! (Also worried about shopping in a warehouse so far from the bathroom, but we made it). I was feeling pretty good about it all. Then we went to the park with some cousins. And it was terrible. She told me she needed to go, but it was a little too late and she had a small accident, we rushed her to the potty to finish but I think she was stressed out and couldn't. I mean, I don't blame her- have you seen park bathrooms?! So that meant she had a second accident. Then we let her free-wander off in the trees with Boo for a while and came back with... can you guess? A little present for me. So 48 hours of no accidents finished off with a solid 3 within two hours.

One major problem we had (that contributed to the park accidents) was that if I knew she had quite a bit to drink and should probably go before we left somewhere she WOULD NOT. Like, would scream and do the dying swan type of would not try. She was totally great about going if it was her idea, but "trying" was not something she was game for. We have successfully skirted this issue by making a game out of "taking turns" with mom. Since we found this trick we haven't had any accidents because I can typically get her to empty her bladder before we end up somewhere I know could be too distracting for her to tell me in time. The other issue we've had is less major, and actually a little funny. Rory just has a hard time remembering to pull her underwear down, so three separate times she has gone up and gotten on the potty by herself and gone, only to call me up to help because she realized she still has her underwear on. Honestly, it's a pretty hassle-free mistake so I laugh more than get frustrated. Check with me in a few months to see how I feel if it doesn't change.

Night time. The woman who wrote the book had tons of ideas for nighttime potty-training and is a big believer that you should do both at the same time (meaning daytime and nighttime). This is I think the only point that I somewhat disagree on. Well actually, if you were super diligent and wanted your kid to be nighttime trained really badly I'm sure you could. But before we started potty training, Rory would still wake up with a super full diaper every morning and even if we withheld liquids 2-3 hours before bed and went potty twice before going to sleep, she would still have an accident an hour or two before she usually wakes up in the morning. I think 12 hours was just too long for her tiny bladder and she is the kind of girl who NEEDS her sleep, so we decided to give it the old college try, then after three nights we went to pull-ups. My plan is to hopefully do cloth diapers since there's only one per day and that's totally doable, and save pull-ups for things like vacations.

Update after a few weeks: Poop is still a little bit of a trial. I know when she needs to go because she tells me she needs to, then the moment she sits down stands right back up and declares, "No! I don't need to!" and does this about 6 times in a day. Apparently she likes her privacy on this matter, because if at the end of the night I take off her underwear for her and let her go by herself, she almost always gets the job done.

As for night time, we use ordered a cheap cloth diaper with good reviews off Amazon, and that's worked great. I'm planning on ordering several more and saving pull-ups for special occasions and babysitters! Unless she has something big to drink directly before bed, she wakes up fairly dry almost every morning anyways, which is new for her. Since we won't be spending money on pull-ups I'm putting off nighttime potty training for a while.

Otherwise, we still have accidents here or there, maybe once per week if I forget to take her potty before her nap or she's with a babysitter that's not family for the first time since potty-training (oops!), but otherwise she is doing amazing! I know this may not be the case with all my kids, so I'm counting my lucky stars with her.

Rory- 16 month(ish)

-Rory says over thirty words on a regular basis (including neigh, egg, out, hi, no, bye, Jay, etc), and there is constant baby chatter in our house. 

-She is in constant motion, and always wants to be "side" playing in the dirt and smelling the flowers.

-Loves the neighborhood kids and yells "hi! hi! hi!" at them if she hears them come to the door then proceeds to spend as long as she possibly can playing with them outside (they are all between 5-10 years old). When I come outside to check on her she is literally beaming and always cries for a minute when she realizes I'm there to take her away.

-Sleeps a solid 12 hours at night but hardly ever longer, and naps once a day for 1.5-2 hours.

-Is absolutely obsessed with Boo and wakes up every morning calling her name. 

-Goes up and down the stairs like a little daredevil/champion.

-Loves the massive bear Uncle Zane bought her at Costco and if it's too quiet most of the time it means she is sitting in it's lap reading her books. 

-Is obsessed with the word "neigh" and throws it around like it's nothing. We will be in the middle of the store and she will yell out "neigh!". There's almost never a horse around.  

-Has the BEST gap teeth, and if you're lucky she will show them to you on command with an eyes-closed cheeser.

-Asks me to put socks and shoes on her first thing every single morning, and is peeved if she wore footies to bed and can't until after breakfast. Most often, she requests her boots (seen below). She also wants to wear hats and jackets almost always.

-Makes friends with anyone and everyone, though typically after getting their attention by shouting "hi!" on repeat, she refuses to speak and just smirks at them. 

-Rory really is a generally happy, obedient child. She has her extremely high volume opinionated moments, but other than those she helps me put things away, clean up, and keeps me laughing all day long. Grateful for a lot of things, but a really big one is that Jay works so hard so I can be home with her and be her person. 

Summer magic & one year plus some

The months are flying! I've been reminiscing a lot on how far we've come this past year. From the work we've put into our fixer-upper home (which is an entirely different set of posts in itself) and watching our baby grow it has really been something.

Rory is so fun right now. She's got the best sense of humor and loves making people laugh. And she laughs easily, which she comes by naturally.

She crawls EVERYwhere, sometimes in the downward dog position because she still prefers using her feet over using her knees. She can stand for long periods of time and took her first step on the 4th of July, but doesn't regularly walk without a finger or couch to hold on to. She does crawl up the stairs like a champ, and is getting pretty good at going down as well. Her favorite thing to do is crawl over to the bottom of the stairs and laugh and squeal preemptively because she knows I'll come get her any second.

She finally decided that she likes the water! So our favorite thing to do right now is go to the gym the moment she wakes up from her morning nap, then spend an hour or so at the rec center pool after I'm done. She stands waist high in the kiddie pool water and happily splashes and watches the other kids. It's so so magical.

She eats more than I do, and that's not a joke. Some days I run out of ideas of things to feed her. Anybody else have this issue? We've mostly weaned. I still nurse her once every couple of days if she will nurse, though I know that can't go on forever as I'm sure I eventually won't have anything left to give. Thank heavens for Boo the vacuum cleaner who eats all her crumbs off the floor as self-feeding is a beautiful, messy thing. Rory has also been known to feed Boo on purpose from her chair the little rascal.

Puppy and baby become more and more mutually obsessed as the days go by. Rory easily gives Boo ten kisses in the space of 5 minutes and giggles at her so hard that she gives herself hiccups at least once a day. Boo is done with the bulk of her shedding for summer, but even still the constant vacuuming is worth it for how much these two love each other.

Our neighbor has the most magical apricot tree in her backyard. It's so full of apricots that she and I had to go out and brace the limbs to keep them from breaking, as several of the others already had. She has no family here and is so sweet to let us play on the lawn and steal an apricot here and there. (she sent me home with 3 full bags last week) Speaking of lawns, we are finally going to have a yard! We've been doing everything ourselves, so it's been quite the process. But we are almost there! My friend said I will just roll around in it I'll be so happy, and I quite agree. Anyways, I knew the moment I saw those limbs full of apricots that I needed to get a picture or two of Rory there. So I did, and Rory picked an apricot right off the tree and ate it mid-photo. Sometimes there's magic in our backyards. Really.

I did include a crying picture to bring us all back to reality. Homegirl is breaking 4 of her top teeth at the same time right now. So much drool, so many chewed fingers, and a good bit of fussing depending on the day.

Pool time at Nana's

Both girls (puppy + tiny human) were introduced to the water when we went to CA a few weeks ago.
Boo literally could not get enough, and we often had to escort her out to take a break.
(her presence/enthusiasm & doggy-paddle/claw combo was a little overwhelming)
Rory was much more content sitting on a towel and watching from afar.
There may have been some panicky whining when her toes touched the water.

We are really wishing we were back there lathered in sunscreen right now.
A community pool just doesn't live up to that view, am I right?