Get in the game

Today, whatever news station somebody previously had on when I hopped on the stairclimber was talking about fandom and it's benefits and mostly- it's downfalls. They were talking about the phenomena that hardcore fans essentially go through the same stress and adrenaline rush as the players they love so much, except for the fact that we have absolutely no control or part in the outcome. SO that stress just sits- there's nowhere productive for it to go. Today I want to write out loud about sitting on the sidelines of our own lives, and how we can possibly get in the game and start feeling fulfilled. It's not about the fame, it's about playing a game that you want to win.

First, I hope we are all fans of our own lives. I hope we dream of "winning" of the house cup or the world championship or whatever it is for you. And mind you, I don't think that has to be anything grand. I think my "winning" or "succeeding" largely has to do with growing old with Jay, having lots of babies, being financially stable and independent, and having a massive greenhouse on a piece of land somewhere pretty. Also owning my own business. Maybe a massive garden and lots of Boo's puppies running around. Some beautiful, frame-able photography for pleasure thrown in there. And I get to be on the field working toward that goal every day.

So yeah, I hope we're at least fans. I hope we are cheering for ourselves. But what I really hope is that we are down in the dirt doing it. I hope we are playing the game, and playing with all we've got. (mind you, I believe taking time to heal from injuries/catastrophes in our lives is ok too) There are a million things we can/need to do in a day. All of us. And for me it at times can be completely overwhelming and I would rather crawl in a hole and lie in a stressful sea of nothingness than do something. But I always feel better if I just play the game (or do the darn thing, ya know?), so why don't I just do it?

Do you have the same struggle? Why do we do this to ourselves (assuming it's not just me)? When I take a step back it seems like most of the time I know the antidote to whatever I'm feeling, but just don't want to make the initial hurdle. Even if you aren't perfect at whatever it is, or it's going to take you five years to really accomplish or whatever the case may be... it is so much more satisfying to be playing the game, even if you aren't completely sure of exactly what you're doing!

My dad always said, "point, shoot, aim (repeat)" which sounds a little silly at first, but it's really the principle that you've gotta shoot to see where you're at and you can re adjust from there.

So here's to being better at sewing and photography than I was last year because I kept doing them despite my imperfections. Here's to living our lives and making the phone calls we should and getting out of bed on time and exercising and taking twenty minutes to clean the dishes that have been staring at you from the sink. Here's to making the hard phone calls and e-mails and doing all the things we know will help us get closer to that victory, even when they're hard. Especially when they're hard.

Get a planner, find a new alarm clock that works, surround yourself with inspiration (whatever that looks like-podcasts and books are a good start), make time to do the things you love. For me, I'm a "point, aim, aim, aim, aim, aim, aim, and then maybe shoot" type person more often than not. I'm a solidly functional perfectionist, who used to scrub the dirt off her old navy flip flops with a toothbrush after school every day. (that, dear friends, is the truth) And so it's hard for me to move forward knowing things aren't perfect. Knowing they aren't exactly how I wanted them to be or pictured them to be. But I'm working on it. I'm making steps forward and sewing and ripping out a lot of seams and taking more pictures in manual. And you know.... it feels good.

Basically, this quote from instagram sums it up-
"You don't have to get it perfect. You just have to get it going" @haleyacres

And for my weekly photo I've got a shot I'm really proud of recently that makes me proud of keeping in the game and practicing photography even when I have been discouraged and it's a lot easier to leave my heavy camera at home. There's motion and light and real, genuine, human beings.