why dating is hard.

Dating was so hard.
Gosh, I was thinking about it the other day, and it was hard.
Sometimes I remember how fun dating was, and yes, that's true.
But overall, even if you're going on dates, and even if they're fun dates-
at the end of the day it's hard.

You know why?
Because you have options, and none of them are easy.
You can choose to be open and vulnerable and experience it fully.
Or you can block yourself off and put up walls and keep yourself safer from all that.
But it ends. Whatever it is for you, it ends.
The game is not meant to last.
There's going to be one that's right for you someday,
but until that one comes everyone else will be wrong.
That's the reality of it, and some days it sucks.
Sometimes it sucks because you wasted time on someone that was wrong,
and sometimes you're not even sure what was wrong at all- but it was.

But somehow when it ends, whatever it is, this little voice inside your head tells you you weren't enough. Sometimes it's glaringly obvious that they were not good enough for you, but that little voice is loud. It shouts, it's convincing. And then when they start dating someone else the little voice shouts that you weren't enough but they were. And when you're having a bad day it shouts. And when you see them online or in public it shouts.

It's terrible. And girls, it gets to us. Boys, you may not talk about it so much, but it gets to you too.

I'm here to tell you that it's a BIG FAT LIE.
You are good enough. You are more than good enough.
I bet if you compare strengths to strengths you are so far beyond whoever it was
that it seems silly you were ever there in the first place.

The fact of the matter is you were enough, you just weren't right.
And that's okay. Thank heavens they said something or you said something or whatever and however it happened it ended. Because sometimes being with the one that's right for you has bumps in the road- but can you imagine trying to do it all with someone that wasn't right? Maybe someone who didn't have the capacity to love you the way you ought to be loved? Or didn't appreciate your quirks?

I don't think it's asking for too much but I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE MY WEIRDNESS.
[thanks for being that someone, Jay Winters]
And you should too.

Stick it out.
Find someone who loves you enough.
Find someone who loves your quirks and weirdness.
Find someone who will make you laugh, if that's what it is for you.
At minimum find someone you can laugh with.
But whatever it is you're looking for, know that you're enough.
You may have not been right for anyone yet, but you were enough for all of them.
You have always been good enough. You will always be enough.
But if they couldn't see that, then they were not right for you.

And that's ok.
So dating is hard, I know.
But keep on keeping on, because someday you'll find someone that's right for you.
God has a way of working it all out the way it's meant to be.